the allure

there’s nothing like a good chase to get your blood flowing, adrenaline pumping, hormones into a tizzy. nothing like looking at the board in front of you, planning your next move, just a step away from snatching the queen. and when the game’s over and you’re crowned the winner, you dump all the pieces back in the box. and move on.

I’ve got a couple pieces to throw in the box. shit ain’t even fun no more.

in the next game, I solemnly swear to change my approach. cuz I be doin’ the most.

fool me twice? i'll cut you.

part of being an adult is budgeting. part of being stephanie is spending money wildy because it actually does grow on trees. lately, however, i've been putting aside my foolish ways in favor of being an adult.

i used to throw money away on food. $4 for breakfast, $8 for lunch, $8 for dinner, that's $20/day, $100/wk, $400/mo. and that's just for a 5-day work week. foolish. so I came up with a food budget that slashes that number by over 50% AND i'm not starving.

instead of sausage egg and cheese on a roll/biscuit/english muffin, the breakfast of fat kids, i've opted for oatmeal or cereal. way cheaper, it's yummy, and keeps me skinny.

before a weekend getaway, i tend to do grocery shopping so I have food to take to work when i come back. i went away for a wedding and returned to have the following conversation:

roomie #1: was that your honey bunches of oats?
me: yah
#1: oo i thought [boyfriend] bought it for me so I had some, but I'm gonna get you another box.
me: yah

and when you bought the replacement box, did you really have to open that one too?

so now I just returned from another weekend getaway and was prepared to throw a full box of Cinnamon Chex in my bag only to find that i'd be lucky to get three bowls of cereal out of it.

i'll be moving out by july 1st. and don't you dare touch me Lucky Charms.

i'm on the first flight back to Duke

"it's only acting a fool if you regret it. and if you do it right, you won't regret it"

mizz jamieson, if you nasty.

living single

a few weeks ago Forbes announced Hollywood's Top-Earning Couples of 2008. at the top of the list, of course, was my fave power couple:


not only did they top the list at $162 milli earned this year (approximately $80 mil from B and $82 mil from Jay), they left Will & Jada in their dust coming in second at $85 mil, and Posh & Becks rounding out the top 3 with a measly $58 mil. now money isn't everything, it can't by love or happiness, blah blah blah, but it can buy that Louis that I had planned on getting for my bday.

seriously though, we know that money is power, and with the desire to be pretty powerful and influential one day (to be used only for good, of course), i find that i am attracted to power/power potential. call it real recognize real, if you will.

but I haven't met him yet. and i'm not quite there yet. so i'm gonna sit single. i will have found the one when we're able to say "i'm a beast, you're a beast, let's just be beasts together". we will seal the deal with a hi-five or a terrorist fist jab and then embark on a great romance, friendship and partnership. someone wittier than me. someone who only makes me cry when i'm laughing. someone who knows what I mean when I say I'm bossy and someone who knows what the fuck I mean when I say I wanna be fabulous. we will have mutual respect and adoration for the other's hustle and, most importantly, we won't do anything to hurt/topple the other b/c that's just not how we roll.

but since Hollywood is not quite my style, we won't be making that particular Forbes list. but there will be others, and I promise to take pictures and send them from the top spot!

my mom sends me an obscene amount of chain mail

On Friday I received a Tibetan Personality Test, blessed by the Dalai Lama himself.

according to Mr. Lama, my priorities (in order of highest to lowest) right now are: career, money, pride, family, and love. if we're to ignore the middle three and look just at my highest and lowest priorities, this shit is pretty on point.

in order for my wish for fabulousness to come true, I have to send this to 13 people by Wednesday so, take the test!

dance like no one's watching, sing like no one's listening

Saturday, as I was getting dressed and prepped for another great night out, I turned on my speakers, hit play on "Live Your Life" and turned the volume up. way up. The dancing ensued as I imagined my life as a shining star with fancy clothes and fancy cars and I dug down deep for my Guyanese accent as I sang about "chasing that pay-pah". I had to make a conscious decision to end the party and actually get dressed lest I face the wrath of an angry Dominican woman.

This is my reaction to music. And this is why I don't own an iPod. Every song is my favorite song. If I don't know the words I'm in the process of learning the words. I play the song on repeat until I've got it down (got "Single Ladies" in 7 plays, y'all!) and I do my best to mimic the singer's range (me, Tutu and Tyaisha do a mean Keke Cole). This all happens with music blasting as loudly as possible and with as much space as is necessary to do a couple of cartwheels.

For me, the only point in having an iPod would be to listen to while on the bus, train or plane. And while the musical accompaniment is great, I just can't perform like I'd be able to if I was in the comfort of my own home. Everyday on the train I notice that an overwhelming majority of passengers have headphones on, music blasting and no reaction. They're listening to "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" yet trying to dance with nobody. Maybe they, like I, are dealing with the sad reality that the trains are just too crowded for cartwheels. Or so we thought.

On the J train home that evening we needed the Sandman more than ever. A man who would've gotten his feelings hurt if he took to the Apollo stage needed to let it go instead of attempting to sing "Love TKO". At first I thought he was kidding, but, unfazed by the stares he just kept going. And then came "Silly". He went for it. I don't think the writers of the Deniece Williams classic had him in mind when they penned the hit, and rightfully so, his voice was awful. But, at the same time, he was doing what everyone else in headphones wished they could do, and that's fully embrace the music. For me, instead of sitting there wishing I could tap my toes feverishly to some new Britney tune, I just cut out the temptation and sit there sans song. Why not just dance? Well, because I'm quite shy and I don't want people looking at me like I've lost my mind. But, perhaps it's time to take a cue from this man and just not give a shit.