ALL THE WAY TURNT UP.

life.

do you really want to live forever?

and when the wind blows, and shadows pull close
don't be afraid, there's nothing you can't face
and should they tell you, you'll never pull through
don't hesitate, stand tall and say
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
on my own
and I know that I'm strong enough to mend
and every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
and I live one more day
and I make it through the rain

rip uncle allan.

I call her peggy sue

okay, let's just ignore all the sexy time happening in this video, lest we confirm roca's suspicions about us. it's just that I love you, dammit, and wanted to tell the world my five readers. feel free to not say it back.

finish the song, please

I Remember

for the rest of my life, I promised myself I would love me first genuinely.

let's save our troubles for another day

the american dream is at his inner core

my favorite people are those that say fuck it to the beaten path and just move steadily towards their dreams.  the ones that would rather die enormous than live dormant. support the reality makers.
download: www.tinyurl.com/mixtapeanthem

so let's kick...and push...and coast...

just a rebel looking for a place to be

Alicia's prayer

dear Lord, can you take it away?

this pain in my heart that just follows me by day

and at night it stalks me like the shadows on my wall

oh my goodness

feel like the world is closing on me

feel like my dreams will never come to me

I keep on slipping deeper into myself

and I'm scared, so scared

------

why does it feel

that my mind is constantly trying to pull me down?

I can't seem to get away

continuous mistakes I know were made before

how long will I feel so out of place?

we'd pile on a coach bus and travel for a couple of hours to Nowheresville, NY in the name of leadership development retreats.  I used to love those trips, seeing people that I disassociated myself from years prior, meeting new folks. I was always shy and quiet though, fully in the throes of my awkward stage. somewhere between blooming yet not quite sprung.  this shyness, it's always been a bane...

I get in the way of myself.

well, baby has sprung, defnitely still shy though not as debilitating as back then. but when this song came on, I felt my heart drop below my chest, and I was instantly transported back to my fifteen-year old self, who used to go to sleep with my discman, "Troubles" on repeat, barely registering the lyrics, though intensely moved by the sound.  I see board games, Sareve, bunk beds. smell cucumber melon and hear the gossip that, at the time, was so sordid, so filled with who lost their virginity to whom, and that today mean nothing for who we've all become.

what does webster say about soul?

vibrate.
vibrate higher.

2011

I wanna go HIGH

so HIGH

HIGH

so HIGH

but you can't love me

no you can't love me

if you don't even love yourself

i'll never change

rudy taught me.

do you remember me?

don't you want to know what my brain sounds like?

harold put me on.

a girl can dream

persistence overcomes resistance

not gonna lie. you’re wearing me down. don’t be surprised though. I’m stubborn and had to do this on my own. once upon a time I hated Kanye too. can you believe it? now don’t get too excited. you prob won’t make it there, but I don’t mind listening to you while I play Bejeweled.