#15. I wish I could turn the clock back to August 04 and do Duke all over again.

There were those nights in Pegram spent in the common room, fiercely debating whether racism still exists and if there's still a need for affirmative action. or shrouded in darkness, silent, save for a few whimpers ellicited by The Notebook. and then we'd move upstairs, flying high above the sky, dying while Peter told us what really grinds his gears oblivious to his infant son plotting his mother's demise. and then there was the torrential downpour which turned East Campus into a hippie commune as we used trash bags to create slip-and-slides and danced in the rain.

Katrina. we were sophomores, arguing whether or not it was appropriate for Kanye to announce, in a live telethon to raise funds for the victims, that "George Bush doesn't care about black people." we watched them lock up Rick's and throw away the key, never to see another midnight waffle. we enjoyed owning the campus because the new freshman did little to detract from our brilliance.

junior year. the amazingness that defined the class of '08 was on full display as we dominated every leadership position available. an alcohol-fueled Super Soaker drive-by down Campus Drive on LDOC because we could. passing out minutes later and waking up at 11pm, only to realize that I slept through Common. and I had somehow managed to convince myself that it was okay to be bff with people in '07 because they'd never graduate. and then 12 May 07 came and I saw 12 of my favorites lining the steps of Page, ready to move on with their lives. I saw my loves walk down the aisle and all I could do was cry.

O-Block. 215 Alexander C's open door policy that introduced me to the greatness of PS3 and tennis. jay-z rap-alongs. taaaaailgate. slumber parties. the fashion show. senior year. a fierce urgency to carpe diem because the clock was ticking and my time at Duke would be up faster than virgin peen in tight poon.

from the moment I stepped foot on campus six years ago, I needed Duke to be mine. it felt like home. everything I wanted and needed in a school. gorgeous campus. warm weather. top-tier academics. school spirit. diversity. it was the antithesis of Hewitt, and, approaching my final year at that school, I knew I was ready for something different.

I'd hate to hear my classmates complain that Duke was wack because it was obvious that the problem wasn't the school, but them, as they all sat waiting for every opportunity worth taking advantage of to barrel through their dorm room doors. the same people are now begging in vain for God, or anyone listening, to turn back the hands of time. where just a year ago, I was climbing the chapel, standing at the highest point of the university, looking out at the vast expanse that I conquered. in a tutu. where I faced challenges thrown at me and emerged victorious, and with a degree to prove it. and though there were tears and hardships, triumphs and epic fails, I loved every second of it.

and that's why I've been back three times since I've graduated. because with each visit, I hope to wake up from the nightmare I'm currently starring in, to hop out my extra long twin bed in 208 Pegram, to turn my swag all the way on, a bright-eyed freshman who can't tell the difference between Alpine Atrium and Alpine Bagels.

an hour into an 8-hr road trip back up North, Shani, Bridgey, Kiya and I reflect on what Duke meant to us. what we loved, what we hated, what we regretted, what we were grateful for. and yet the jewel of the conversation came not in what we looked back on, but in what we were looking forward to. Shani, a year away from a Master's. Bridgey, Madame CJ Walker 2.0. Kiya, Dr. Boyd. and only Lord knows where I'm headed, but it's certainly gonna be fabulous. it was more than obvious that our time at Duke needed to come to an end, because here were four incredible young women who had learned so much, accomplished so much, all of whom had only closed the initial chapters, itching to start writing the next.

i'm ready to move on.