I tried my hardest not to, but my willpower was no match for the damn floodgates. the annoying part is that I knew that in these next two weeks, before I'd get the opportunity to declare my almost freedom, before I'd get to bow out gracefully, and before I'd get to put in the highest bid to regain my sold soul, the damn devil was going do everything in his power to break me. he'd make it so that after putting up with 8 months of assault via email, a manager would finally take notice and declare that I'm being verbally harassed by someone in the company, but in that same breath condemn me for standing up for myself when she wouldn't. he'd make it so I would have to bear repeated complaints in a single day that the greatest offense that our media buyer could commit would be "ugh, she can't speak English" (read: she has a non-US accent). and he'd make it so that folk that I worked with for months would still mistake me for an assistant managing someone's calendar, rather than an account executive leading print and digital projects for one of the largest companies in the world.
what really sucks about this shit is that I went from one shitty situation to a shittier one. and yes, there are lessons learned, but the truth is that I'm scared because I can't do this again. I cannot spend my life hating my job. I cannot spend my life complaining about my job. I do not want to do this again. for goodness sake, I just want to be happy and I can't for the life of me figure out what I'm doing wrong. but whatever it is, I can't cry at work anymore.
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