you guys (thankfully) didn't manage my multi-million dollar portfolio, just the pennies that i threw in there every couple of weeks so I could convince myself I was learning to save money. you may recognize me by my sitekey, "piggy wiggy"? or the girl who calls every couple of months for the overdraft reversal? oh, forget it. not important anyway.
so what do I want from you? well, though you may not know me, you certainly know my friend, a nice girl from new orleans, and you lured her with your promises of fortune, networking, great experience right outta college, stability. i guess things were cool for the first 18 months of her time with you dreamkillers, but once you decided it was appropos to send the economy into a tizzy, you sent her packing, heading back to the NO.
now granted, though it pains me to say it, she hated new york, and she missed home, and all that shiz, her time here wasn't done. we were just learning how to cook with less seasoning salt. we were in the process of memorizing all the jokes in "baby mama." and the beyoncé sing-a-longs while zooted out of our minds had certainly only just begun.
you took away our dates at chicken. you took away our slumber parties. YOU TOOK AWAY OUR CREDIT CARD TO PAY FOR OUR POST 9PM CAB RIDES.
how small of you? to me you look RIDICULOUS.
who am I supposed to exchange childish snickers with when Glenn says "if you can't ride it on an 8, I understand"? who's gonna force me to stay in a fitting room for an hour because she keeps finding more shit for me to try on? who's going to ensure that I strive for civility?
who's going to attack me with peanut butter? who's going to insist upon rubbing my face because that's what she does to people she loves?
and is bossip not running for president anymore? because i haven't gotten my daily campaign email in months.
i know nothing lasts forever, but shit, we were just getting started. i still haven't found the perfect nude gloss.
well, it was fun while it lasted.
with hate,
suZie.
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