scene: house party
you're too fly to not be up in that party dancing.
it goes that way sometimes.
so, i used to play ball in college.
okay.
yeah.
where'd you play?
Duke.
::side eye::
yeah, I used to play ball for Duke.
really? I went to Duke. when'd you go there?
'01.
::side eye::
I played until '05 and then I transferred to NCCU where I had a career-ending injury and then I left in '06.
::side eye::
and how old are you?
23. my name is Handsome.
and I politely excused myself.
lesson: don't lie to me. and don't try to holla at someone that works for a toothbrush brand with that doodoo breath. you're done.
-----
scene: a well-lit, tree-lined block in the heart of historic stuyvesant heights (at least that's how the craigslist ad would describe it).
sexy!
sexy!
i've been meaning to add some strength-training to my workout, just haven't gotten around to it. right now, one block left and my weak arms can rest from the strain of carrying a week's supply of apples, Lean Cuisines and Captain Crunch.
sexy!
sexy!
fuck. there's commotion coming from the side of the street that I need to be on.
sexy!
damn. he's talking to me. and hanging out of the passsenger side. Lord, give me strength. crap, the driver skillfully maneuvered the car to my side. and homie is still hanging out the window. quick, cross the street.
what? you don't wanna talk to me?
not with you screaming from across the street like you done lost your mind
that's why I came over here
no, you mean that's why you had your friend drive across the street while you continued to shout from the window like the definition of a scrub. be civil, stef, ignore and cross the street.
what? you think you too good for me?
well, when you put it like that, yes. yes, I do.
-----
i don't mind that he'll think i'm stuck up. that i'm full of myself. i need this armor to protect me from the riffraff because, truth is, having someone come correct is half the battle. God forbid he stepped out of the car. or that that other monster got his lies straight. or invested in a pack of Orbit. or ten. you want smiley faces after all of my phrases? get creative...
you already know what it's hittin for
ma i got whatever outside and you know what i'm sittin on
50/50 venture with them S. Dots kickin off
Armadale poppin now, only bring a nigga more
only thing missin is a missus
you ain't even gotta do the dishes, got two dishwashers
got one chef, one maid
all i need is a partner, to play spades with the cards up, all trust.
and everybody knows there's nothing I love more than a good game of Spades.
YAAASS!
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