dear Lord, can you take it away?this pain in my heart that just follows me by day
and at night it stalks me like the shadows on my wall
oh my goodness
feel like the world is closing on me
feel like my dreams will never come to me
I keep on slipping deeper into myself
and I'm scared, so scared
------
why does it feel
that my mind is constantly trying to pull me down?
I can't seem to get away
continuous mistakes I know were made before
how long will I feel so out of place?
we'd pile on a coach bus and travel for a couple of hours to Nowheresville, NY in the name of leadership development retreats. I used to love those trips, seeing people that I disassociated myself from years prior, meeting new folks. I was always shy and quiet though, fully in the throes of my awkward stage. somewhere between blooming yet not quite sprung. this shyness, it's always been a bane...
I get in the way of myself.
well, baby has sprung, defnitely still shy though not as debilitating as back then. but when this song came on, I felt my heart drop below my chest, and I was instantly transported back to my fifteen-year old self, who used to go to sleep with my discman, "Troubles" on repeat, barely registering the lyrics, though intensely moved by the sound. I see board games, Sareve, bunk beds. smell cucumber melon and hear the gossip that, at the time, was so sordid, so filled with who lost their virginity to whom, and that today mean nothing for who we've all become. 
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