consider it a strength to be affable. one that leaves no shortage of company, tagged pictures, inside jokes. it certainly makes the awkward social experiment they call college a whole lot easier to navigate, cuz, hey, everybody likes ya! well, not everybody. someone's gotta be the brunt of your jokes that has everyone else grasping their chests, trying to catch their breaths from laughing so hard, as if chris rock himself walked into the room declaring "knock, knock".

and that's what life is all about right? a shit ton of friends! facebook announces to all who give a shit about you that you've made a new friend. and now they've been so kind as to take a wild guess at where you met that person. because everyone needs to know that too. and the number of twitter followers you have is an indication of how interesting what you have to say is. which is funny because #mostofmyfollowers just retweet other people's thoughts anyway. incredibly intriguing, you can imagine.

okay, okay, you've got me. this is my quarterly declaration that I prefer to be antisocial and will be deactivating all of my social networking accounts in favor of the hermit life. there's a large rock on farmers boulevard that, despite being on a relatively busy street, can actually serve as quite the hiding place. i mean, when's the last time you went to Queens? that is until LL Cool J revives his rap career and decides to return to the spot where it all started to film a new video. then I'll have to grab my satin pillowcase and find somewhere else to disappear.

well, not that drastic.

consider it a weakness to be naive. so naive as to believe that all those people sending friend requests (spam), follow requests (nosey), let-me-visit-you-in-New-York-requests (homeless) actually give a shit about me. me, the person. full name, stephanie. shit, when's the last time you called me that? oh wait, you didn't really think my name was susie, right? right, of course you didn't.

consider it a weakness to be so naive as to think that yeah, there's something about this guy who seems like he could potentially be pretty shady, wack ass ex-bf reincarnate, though he's been trying to convince me that he cares so much about our "friendship," our deep, longstanding, recently revived, not much prior to this, friendship, that when the ulterior motive doesn't kick into action as originally planned, he'll now flip a table on me like a new jersey housewife and cry foul on stephanie. because that's the thing, despite what name you may use to refer to me, be it susie, sammie, stef alicia, bitch, they all are meant to get the attention of a girl named stephanie, whose inability to think before she speaks is always more likely to respond rudely than as sweetly as she can and would prefer. stephanie who swears on the book of keep your heart three stacks but, at any given moment, is prepared to put all the cards on the table to let the next batter up know what time it is. and who, if you ask any of my real friends, has apparently always been like this. so you other "friends" who seem to have suddenly taken issue with the way I'm speaking to you, for not sparing your feelings for some dumb idea you've come up with that I'm supposed to agree to regardless of it being at my expense, or whatever else it is that seems to be conveniently peeving you since your ulterior motive is now swimming in the toilet like a forgotten piece of shit, well, you didn't think I'd give a damn nowdidya?

see below.