zsa zsa zsu

his eyes lit up at the sight of me. smiled the entire time. so quick to divulge his story. of family. upbringing. of love. he felt comfortable. he wanted to spend all day with me. to know what I'm doing tonight. tomorrow. next month. to drink from my cup all day. all night. all month. and I wanted nothing to do with it.

another he. a different he. could have my eyes lit up at the sight of him. smiling the entire time. wondering when he'd be around again. to find me in the kitchen, pretending to be unfazed by his presence. unfazed by his kiss landing a mere millimeter from my lips. slyly tucking my berry away after a bbm broadcast to my closest to announce his arrival and my fluttering heart.

this he had a presence. a snake charming smile. and eyes that whispered sweet nothings to my heart. of putty. I was fucking putty around him. and I wanted him to hold me. shape me.

but he didn't have anything to give me. at least nothing special. because I wasn't the only girl he was melting. this is what this man did for a living. and I should've known better. but I wanted nothing to do with knowing better.

because unlike the first he, who could potentially do anything for me, who was excited at the opportunity to spend time with me. get to know me. massage me. surprise me. drink me. unlike the first he, this he had me caught up in the rapture. wondering if it was possible that we could ever be. though nothing but his eyes suggested we could go beyond this apartment. beyond this kitchen.

meanwhile all the first he ever did was be nice to me. yet nice guys finish last. hopefully I don't too.