used to love this blog. lost sleep over this blog. would be up til 2 or 3 having to wake up by 7 over this blog.

had so much to say. so much on my mind. just wanted to write. didn't care who read. save a few comments here and there, I thought, still think, it's just me. here.

used to love reading old posts. smiling. impressed. by some witty. rude. smart. sentence. paragraph. story. funny too, because up until this point, I swore I hated writing. expression. thought I preferred keeping shit bottled. guess I was wrong.

used to love reading. back in April we formed a book club and I was excited. matter of fact, there were two clubs. one untitled. we're still debating Amen Corner vs. Giovanni's Room. but when I went to Borders for either title, the dumbass helping me said he wasn't familiar with Baldwin, but could help me find Eric Jerome Dickey.

the other, Boobies. we haven't gotten too far with that. started with Influence. ended with Influence. but picking up that book every coupla weeks to read a few interviews has been keeping me going.

and then there's the Bible. don't really read it. haven't really read it, save a few chapters in Genesis. but Lord, I pray my heart out.

guess I'm nothing but overwhelmed. don't ask me about work. don't ask how I'm doing. don't wanna talk about it. don't wanna talk. if not for my shiny new Curve, I probably wouldn't call/text/bbm.

don't really peruse the 'nets anymore. keep it pretty minimal. People. YBF. The Cut. RBGs. don't wanna interact with you. nothing really matters at all. not quite what Lauryn meant. but like Rih said- I don't really give a fuck.

once upon a time, I had a corner in my apartment. sectioned off by blue tulle. tons of comforters lined the floor. I saw something like it on Cribs once. before she was too grown to be a Child, it was in B's room. issues of W, Bazaar and Teen Vogue strewn throughout. Sex and the City season 3 in the DVD player. Chris Brown streaming through my speakers. I used to dream in that corner. blanketed in magazines. back when life was easy. errr... not easy. just easier.

now my room is barely decorated. thank God for the purple walls. and the purple sheets. and thank God for mom finding them. one less thing for me to lose my mind over. one day I'll have the energy to hang up Naomi & Kate. in the meantime, I barely roll out of bed. don't even know my favorite magazine. thankfully Reyes figured that out for me.

Paper and Essence all over the place that need to be recycled. SATC replaced by Gossip Girl. Chris Brown replaced by...some goat that yells like Usher.

and my delicious, home cooked meals have, once again, been replaced by Smart Ones.

and this blog. almost lost it. still losing me. lost my mind a while ago.

but don't call 911. cuz i'll deny everything.