push it 2009

i secretly wish that i had some kinda crazy athletic ability. in high school, i played softball second semester sophomore year. hated it. junior year, Jordan and I founded the soccer team. we never got past JV. that year I also played badminton. i was in the exhibition squad and cut by senior year.

i sucked at sports.

but i loved gym class. and i loved hood tournaments during the annual block party. i was a beast at double dutch. but when it came to athletic ability, i was seriously lacking.

how does a non-athlete end up playing a pretty athletic sport like soccer? as goalie, of course.

from the start, it was agreed that that'd be my position. i called it. i really wanted to be on a team and show the world that i was a winner. but i hated running. goalies just had to stand there and slide tackle an opponent or two. i could even use my hands (pause).

when i got to college, i signed up for a kickboxing class almost every semester because I knew exercise was important. i'd go to the gym and do the elliptical or the bike, and i'd walk past the tready as if we were enemies and it was dead to me. i hated running. i mean, where was I running to?! so, despite being decently active, I remained out of shape.

it started as an exercise to improve what's on the outside. i really just wanted to be a good clotheshorse.

i got a gym membership. the fine ass trainer said tready was the only way. i batted my lashes and obliged. anything for you, baby.

so i'd walk at a moderate pace for about an hour. then one night sloane and i were on the tready watching Oprah and out of nowhere came Beyoncé. i ran half a mile.

by the next week it was a mile. 1.5. watching a Knicks game and before I knew it I was at two and I felt great. by the new year, Solange was leading me into power runs where I had to make a conscious decision to either jump off the machine or run into tomorrow. hooked.

being out of shape posed a real challenge initially. i'd have to give myself the biggest pep talk before i kicked the speed up 3 notches from 2.5. i'd set a goal, 15 minutes. 20 minutes. 25. 30. i'd coach myself through the whole run. come on. you can do it. only 10 minutes left. 5. 1. you're done. and then i'd keep going. i didn't wanna be done. i was learning to push myself, and it felt great.

until now, anything that didn't come easily to me, i dismissed. i had enough that i was good at. did i really need to be ill at translating Latin, memorizing Britney lyrics AND varsity sports? the truth is that i was never a great athlete because i didn't want to push myself.

a wise person once said "your mental fitness is connected to your physical fitness." being fit requires challenging yourself with every workout. trying to go a little further, pushing a little harder than the last time. and then there's that sweet feeling of success when you're done. the endorphins are having a party in your pants as you're at work managing every project thrown at you. over-delivering on assignments. keeping your boss on top of what's happening in the industry. and, within no time, becoming a boss.

this summer, i'm gonna learn to swim.