too deep for the intro

"Oscar Wilde said: 'Each man kills the thing he loves.' And it's true. The mere possibility of getting what we want fills the soul of the ordinary person with guilt. We look around at all those who have failed to get what they want and feel that we do not deserve to get what we want either. We forget about all the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured, all the things we had to give up in order to get this far...This is the most dangerous of the obstacles because it has a kind of saintly aura about it: renouncing joy and conquest. But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here."

Paulo Coelho.

Listening to the doves in Alfred, Georgia, and having neither the right nor the permission to enjoy it because in that place mist, doves, sunlight, copper dirt, moon--everything belonged to the men who had the guns. Little men, some of them, big men too, each one of whom he could snap like a twig if he wanted to. Men who knew their manhood lay in their guns and were not even embarrassed by the knowledge that without gunshot fox would laugh at them. And these "men" who made even vixen laugh could, if you let them, stop you from hearing doves or loving moonlight. So you protected yourself and loved small. Picked the tiniest stars out of the sky to own; lay down with head twisted in order to see the loved one over the rim of the trench before you slept. Stole shy glances at her between the trees at chain-up. Grass blade, salamanders, spiders, woodpeckers, beetles, a kingdom of ants. Anything bigger wouldn't do. A woman, a child, a brother--a big love like that would split you wide open in Alfred, Georgia. He knew exactly what she meant: to get to a place where you could love anything you chose--not to need permission for desire--well now, that was freedom.

"the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude."

Ralph Waldo Emerson, Invisible Man

influence

Hard work has never been something someone taught me or something I simply picked up from someone else. Maybe it's a by-product of landing my first job at six months old, but I've never believed that there were boundaries or limits to anything I set my mind to. For the first time in my life, I'm in complete control of my destiny. Like everything you put out there for the universe to see, it all comes back to you. I'm finding out that taking my life to the next level is all about discovery. Being aware of the world around you requires you to pay attention to everyone and everything. But in order to stay grounded, you have to stay true to yourself. Diane von Furstenberg once told me, "You have to be your best friend." I believe that.

ashley olsen

i have a pretty decent fashion magazine collection counting W, Bazaar, Teen Vogue (I own only two Vogue mags, can't get with the haughty pretentiousness) among my faves. many of my books have pages missing and cutouts where a bag, shoe or Nicole Richie used to be as i would make a day out of pulling together lookbooks based on what i would see in the mags, tv, internet, street, my head. a lot of forces are influencing where i want to head stylistically and, on those days i sat in my bedroom with a binder, scissors, a journal and glue stick, i'd snip away eagerly. i just wanted to compile it all. when i learned that mk&a were gearing up to release a book about their influences, i was excited because i count them amongst my influences, so this book would be like meet the parents.

tomorrow, after a three-month delay, the first meeting of Boobies will be held. at this book club meeting, the founders (Bridgee & I) will discuss this opus, looking to gain further insight into what drives the choices these ladies make sartorially. though, based on the opening paragraph of the book's intro, it appears that this work is much more than that. stay tuned.

"the novel that defined a generation"

"The Beat Generation is a term used to describe a group of American writers who came to prominence in the 1950s, and also the cultural phenomena that they wrote about and inspired (later sometimes called "beatniks"): a rejection of mainstream American values, experimentation with drugs and alternate forms of sexuality, and an interest in Eastern spirituality."

-wiki

i'm intrigued by those who do things a little differently. not in that contrived "i gotta do things a little differently" way, but in that "i did it my way" kinda way. i didn't really know what they were about, but those beatniks, they seemed like my type. the intriguing type.

an oft-referenced book, i picked up Jack Kerouac's On The Road so i could both learn about these beat folks and find out what all the hype was about. after all, "the novel that defined a generation" is not a light statement. so i needed to see how Kerouac's writing would back that up.

"But then they danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."

it's a loosely autobiographical story of friendship. Dean Moriarty is a deeply restless soul, operating without a care, without regard for others, just running, speeding, burning for the love of the next adventure. set in the late 40's, we're hooked by Sal Paradise, a burgeoning writer living in dirty Jers' with his aunt. it's a story laced with beautiful depictions of the freedom and uncertainty of standing on the side of the road in the middle of the night, waiting for a stranger to carry you 100 miles closer to your destination. Texas. Chicago. 'Frisco. New Orleans. don't you want to see it all?

but in a tale about roaming, exploring, not being stuck within the confines of the expectations set by a society's rigid social clock, Sal was amazingly pragmatic. he was always a step to the right of Dean's shambles. while Dean seemed destined to one day just burn out, with nothing left but the memory, Sal sat in the front seat of the caddy, driving across the country with him, finding and losing love in Mexico, smoking all the tea the great land could bring forth, breaking up bar fights in Denver, tangled in wild, sweaty, sexual basement parties in New York, and, almost randomly, published a book. for a 21st century generation trying to figure out how to have it all, do it all, there's a lesson in Paradise.